Reasons Why Couples Should Seek Out Marriage Help!
Carlos Durana Ph.D., M.Ac. offers counseling and therapy in Reston, Virginia, Washington, DC, and Bethesda, Maryland.
According to various studies, marriage rates are on the decline at a staggering 50% of first marriages ending in divorce. While this is a high percentage, it has also remained at 50% for the last 30 years. There are many different factors that contribute to divorce rates, including partners’ level of education, religious beliefs, and more.
When divorce does happen, there is a ripple effect of challenges and difficulties for everyone involved, including children. For adults, divorce is considered to be one of the most stressful events in their life; met with feelings of ambivalence and uncertainty about what the future will bring. When there are children involved, they may experience feelings of denial, abandonment, anger, blame, and even guilt. In some cases, children may act out as a way to express how the divorce is affecting them.
In some situations, divorce may be necessary, and even the healthiest choice, while other couples may wish to try and salvage what is left of their marriage. When couples start to notice problems in their relationship, they might wonder when they should seek out marriage help. Here are a few good reasons why couples should seek out a reliable therapist that can help to salvage their relationship.
- Communication Has Turned Negative: When communication between a couple has deteriorated, it is often difficult to get it turned back around. Negative communication between a couple can include anything that leaves one or both partner feeling depressed, insecure, disregarded, or provoke feelings of wanting to withdraw from the present conversation. These feelings can be created not only from the words that are being said, but the tone of the conversation as well. When communicating, it is important to remember that it not always what you say, but how you say it as well. Extremely negative communication can lead to more than hurt feelings, it can result in emotional or even physical abuse.
- Infidelity: One or both partners having an affair does not necessarily mean that a marriage is automatically over. It is possible to recover from infidelity, but it will require a lot of work from both partners. It requires a commitment and willingness to forgive, move forward, and work on your marriage. Unfortunately, there is no magic formula that automatically erases the hurt from an affair and makes couples forgive and move on. If couples are committed to marriage counselling, and are honest with themselves and each other, there is hope that their marriage can be saved.
- Living More Like Roommates than Spouses: When you feel as though you and your spouse are living more as roommates than a married couple, this might be an indication that you should seek out marriage help. If there is a lack of communication, conversation, intimacy or any other element that a couple feels are important to their relationship, a marriage counselor can help you find out what is missing and get back to a healthy place.
- Separation as the Only Visible Solution: When couples argue, sometimes taking a break from the situation is helpful. However, when a break turns into nights away from home or a temporary separation, it is time to seek out professional help. Spending time away from your spouse and home does not solve the problem; instead it confirms that time apart is “helping” which in turn leads to more absences from home. A marriage counselor can help couples to identify the root cause of the problem and help them to work through it instead of avoiding it.
- Staying Together Only Because of the Kids: If a couple feels that they need to stay together for the sake of their children, and not wanting to put them through a divorce, it is a good indication that you need to seek out an objective third party. Staying together for the sake of the kids can actually be determinantal; but on the other hand, if a couple stays together and is able to work through their issues it can benefit all involved.
Whether you are needing help learning how to communicate with your spouse again or have more serious issues to work through, Dr. Durana at A Caring Approach can help. We provide individual and couples counseling to help couples work through various issues that they might be experiencing in their relationship. If you think that your relationship can benefit from couple’s therapy, contact our office today to schedule an appointment!