Everything That You Need to Know about Premarital Counseling Part 1
Carlos Durana Ph.D., M.Ac. offers counseling and therapy in Reston, Virginia, Washington, DC, and Bethesda, Maryland.
Most engaged couples don’t think about it, but when you are planning your wedding, are you also preparing for your marriage? Recent studies have shown that couples who went through premarital counseling prior to walking down the aisle experienced a 30 percent decline in the likelihood of divorce over a five-year period.
Some houses of worship require that couples complete some form of marriage education classes prior to the wedding. While not every engaged couple out there is required to attend marriage classes, it might be worth rearranging your busy schedule and squeezing a few sessions in to see what all the hype is about! Below we’ve discussed how a marriage counselor can help you to build a solid foundation with your partner, and start your marriage off on the right foot!
Benefits of Pre-Marriage Counseling
Create resolutions and stay on topic. It is never easy bringing up, let alone talking about, heavy topics, such as, money, sex, kids, in-law relationships, etc. A counselor can help guide the conversation to get to resolutions, and ask questions that will get both parties to think deeply about each subject. With the help of a counselor you’re more likely to stay focused on the topic at hand and actually achieve resolutions than if you were to attempt the subject yourself and end up going off on random tangents.
Learn or improve existing conflict resolution skills. In life, everyone has moments where they have big fights with those who are close to them, its natural. As a result of these fights and arguments, each individual is aware of how they react during and after an argument. Are you the type that resorts to giving the other person the silent treatment? Or do you get angrier and start yelling louder and name calling? Or are you the type to completely shut down and give in to the other persons demands? If we were to be honest with each other, and quite frankly ourselves, we probably have a lot of room for improvement in our conflict resolution skills. A counselor can teach couples how to listen and communicate effectively during and after fights and arguments. You’ll learn what to say, and more importantly, what not to say in order for both parties to reach a happy resolution.
Getting on the same page about timing for major life events. This is especially important for couples to discuss regarding topics, such as, when to have kids, purchase a home, and other major life changes. Having these conversations and understanding where the other person is standing so you can come to a compromise, will eliminate one partner from feeling anxious or frustrated with the other because you are ready to take that next step in your relationship and your partner isn’t ready.
Avoid resentment. It is important to clear the air between you and your partner about any lingering resentments that you’ve been hanging onto throughout your relationship. A marriage counselor can help you to resolve any issues, giving yourself a sense of freedom from these resentments so that you can have a healthy relationship without fear of these resentments coming back later and causing massive damage to your marriage.
Mitigating fears about marriage. You or your partner, or both, might come from a broken home with divorced parents, where that is all that you know. In some instances, you might come from a dysfunctional background where fighting and manipulation were the norm. Marriage counseling can help you to learn to make peace with your past and provide ways to break the cycle so that you have a successful and happy marriage.
While a long and happy marriage is never a guaranteed thing, premarital counseling can give you the tools to start your marriage off strong. A Caring Approach has been offering premarital counseling to couples in the Bethesda and Reston areas. Dr. Durana has over 25 years of experiencing in helping couples learn about themselves and their partners before walking down the aisle. Contact Dr. Durana today and schedule your marriage counseling, so you are prepared for marriage!